


I saw you smiling up there in the sky

by the_scent_of_your_memory



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, I know I'm sappy don't judge me, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-05
Updated: 2013-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-17 18:40:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_scent_of_your_memory/pseuds/the_scent_of_your_memory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are words you can't say, and hands you can't touch.</p><p>But you are here, next to me. And everything it's fine</p><p> </p><p>(or Harry and Zayn cuddle, simply)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I saw you smiling up there in the sky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [el_glaucus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/el_glaucus/gifts).



> check my [tumblr](http://the-scent-of-your-memory.tumblr.com)

__

 

 

 

 

_I don't want this moment_   
_To ever end_   
_Where every thing's nothing, without you_

 

Zayn wonders when Harry will get tired of seeing this film over and over again. He can't remember how many times they have watched _The Notebook_ , late at night when Harry is too tired even for sleep, too restless and hyperactive, when the rush that comes inexorably after a gig has him always wriggling on the sofa and his leg bouncing continuously against the floor.

If Zayn didn't love him so much he would choke him, probably. Surely. 

He still gets anxious for the same moments and cries at the same spots, as if he doesn't know how it goes, like he's hoping it will end differently. The end never changes, but Harry stays hopeful. Because well. It's Harry.

Their hands find one another somewhere under the blanket, resting over Zayn's lap. Harry's eyes are getting heavy-lidded and tired, his voice huskier and lower for the previous exertion. Zayn pokes Harry's neck with his nose, wishing one day he will be able to mark it with red and purple blotches, hoping people will finally understand Harry is his and no one else's.

To kiss him in front of the world and stop hiding. See the world watching them and just don't care. Zayn's not ashamed of loving him. It's the people around that don't get how beautiful what they have is. How much it hurts and scares them, because loving someone so much feels like always being exposed.

But Harry loves him and fills him. He takes his hand and makes him see that their love is worth all the pain they are going through. That no matter how hard it gets, he will be always by his side.

 

  
_I wait here forever just to,_   
_To see you smile_   
_Cause it's true_   
_I am nothing without you_

 

Zayn thinks Harry's fallen asleep. He stopped moving few minutes ago,and Zayn doesn't hear sniffs, which is strange, considering the end is approaching. But then Harry rises his head from his little shelter in the crook of Zayn's neck and smiles at him, his dimpled cheeks caressed gently by the flutter of his long eyes lashes.

Zayn thinks Harry is like the sun. That shines bright and perpetually, but when it's the time to set, the world around gets dark and shadowy. The outlines get blurred and confused. And nothing really matters.

When Harry stops smiling, it is like the world stops spinning around its axis, its balance shatter and it's just sheer chaos.

  
  
  
_Through it all_   
_I've made my mistakes_   
_I'll stumble and fall_   
_But I mean these words_

 

It's the “I love you” mouthed against his moonstone skin, pale like the light spreading from his smile but warm like fire. 

It's the “ don't ever leave me” lost in their mouths when the make sex against the doorway wall, when getting in their bedroom is too difficult and they need it desperately to remember that they are here, they exist, they belong to each other and that that will never change.

It's the “mine” that is repeated over and over again in the darkness of the nights when jealousy becomes unbearable, when too many people want a piece of them, when too many eyes are constantly looking and too many hands are trying to claim.

It's the “Zayn” that molds perfectly on Harry's quivering lips, falling like a prayer from his mouth, when his orgasm has him coming undone under Zayn.

It's the love that changes but never dies. Keepsake of lives entwined together by change, but loved by will.

But Zayn likes to think he didn't really had any other options than just fall in love with the boy with glassy malachite eyes and crimson lips. He was meant to, from the start. When they were strangers put together to smash it and become someone. And somehow they fit, perfectly and effortlessly. They became someone, but keep forgetting who they are underneath the layers of beautiful words and too loud music, not recognizing who are the people they see in the mirror every goddamn morning.

  
  
_I want you to know_   
_With everything, I won't let this go_   
_These words are my heart and soul_   
_And I'll hold on to this moment you know_   
_As I bleed my heart out to show_   
_And I won't let go_

 

 

Harry feels safe. He's Zayn's safe place, where he can always finds his home. A shelter from all the noises that surround them, a blanket of screams and shouts. Of demands and pretenses that bind and tear them down. Harry's where Zayn find silence and himself. Like a mirror in which he can still find his flaws and freckles cover by too much deceit and lies.

So Zayn kisses him, cupping his face with both hands, skimming with his thumb the hollows under Harry's vitreous eyes. Harry's breath hitches in his throat, a little whimper escapes his sinfully red mouth, melting in the kiss. When they have to break it to breath, they are both panting and locking eyes. Zayn runs his thumb across Harry's lips, slowly dragging it down and Harry's eyes flutter close, letting out a long sigh. Zayn's chasing the taste out of Harry's mouth, trying to remember how good they feel against his own. Harry rests his head against Zayn's forehead.

“I missed you today” he says, letting his eyes drop down.

“But I was there with you” Zayn responds, sightly confused.

“I know” and Zayn knows too. What it's like to be that close but feel so far apart. To never be able to touch and make it feel real.

And so he just embraces him tight, grazing his arm, and playing with his slender fingers. There, in his arms, the world encloses around them. And he never felt so safe.

  
  
  
_Thoughts read unspoken_   
_Forever and now_   
_Pieces of memories_   
_Fall to the ground_

 

Memories of tonight come float back like ocean waves, crashing forcefully over him.

The glances, the words sung to each other, like promises for better days. When they will be able to be just themselves and nobody else. The fingers that search for the same hands, the same boy. The boy that smells like mint and youth. Like home and love at midnight. The people looking, but they just don't care. Because they love each other and the rest isn't really there. Louis being Louis, messing around with Liam and Niall, being random in the way Zayn got to love so much. So much because it makes Harry smile and laugh, the sweetest sound that could echo in Zayn's ears for days without him never getting tired of it.

 

  
_I know what I did and how so_   
_I won't let this go_   
_Cause it's true_   
_I am nothing without you_

 

Harry has fallen asleep for real this time, his snores a sweet lullaby, resting his head gracefully on Zayn's shoulder. It's a weight that comforts, that reminds him he's alive.

It's an anchor that won't let him drift away even when he feels empty and emptied.

Zayn sneaks an arm around his waist and slowly drags him to their bedroom. There's silence a part from his feet shuffling against the wooden floor and the background noises from the distant street below. Harry's murmuring something under his breath. A _thanks_ or probably some curses to whoever disturbed his sleep.

Zayn loves him so much. For all the little things the world can't see. For all the little things that are reserved for Zayn and Zayn only.

He places him on the mattress and help him wiggling out of his too tight clothes. Zayn slumps down behind him, cradling his body with his own. He hears his breathe getting calmer and calmer and he tucks his head in the junction between Harry's neck and shoulder. He breathes him in, feels the soft skin of Harry's back rubbing gently against his stomach. He dusts little kisses there, down his spine, hoping sleep will come soon and Harry will still be beside him.

 

  
_On the streets, where I walked alone_   
_With nowhere to go_   
_I've come to an end_   
_In front of you're eyes_   
_It falls from the skies_   
_When you don't know what you're looking to find_

 

Zayn looks at him in the dim light coming from the too shy moon above, his feature slowly relaxing, hands that even in sleep search Zayn's. They latch together like a life thread, grazing away the tension and exhaustion.

 

Tomorrow it will be all over again. The same screams, the same lies and same pretenses.  
But tomorrow there will be the same boy holding his hand where nobody else can see it, because maybe he doesn't really want the world to witness what they have.

And maybe the prospect of tomorrow is not so frightening, when there's boy at your side, who will smile at you like you are the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

 

At his side.

Always at his side.

 

_**I don't want this moment  
To ever end  
Where every thing's nothing, without you ** _

 

 


End file.
